Is Love Really All You Need? Only If It’s a 1 Corinthian 13 Love
A few would assume a couple who is truly head-over-heels in love is likely to overcome and conquer any obstacle that comes their way. It is often said love is all we need. So why is it that even those couples who claim to love each other unconditionally and above anything else in the world have failed in love? Love (in those instances) must not have been used correctly. Therefore, it wasn’t presented the opportunity to rescue those unions from the challenges that typically destroy even the strongest of marriages.
One of my husband’s favorite scriptures is 1 Corinthian 13:4-8. I am always like a student hearing it for the first time whenever he shares his insight on how it relates to relationships. It is easy to see how connected he is to this particular scripture. It also happens to be one of the primary scriptures used as a guideline for our church’s marriage ministry. 1 Corinthian 13:4-8 was selected because it honestly represented the exact manner of love every Christian marriage should experience. This powerful piece of scripture consistently ministers to my marriage and reads as follows:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
While God’s intended use for this scripture is meant to instruct us all on how to love one another in general, it is also perfectly fitting for marriage.
Love is Patient: People make conscious choices in deciding who to spend the rest of their lives with. Because of such a careful selection, remembering those reasons during times of struggle demonstrates not only love, but patience. It is always easier to snap and make apologies later, but it is a true testament of real love when one is able to take a step back. Knowing that one human can’t change another, we must be willing to love our spouse right where they are right now.
Love is Kind: Love, loves. It always considers the other spouse. Doing for our spouse just for the sake of doing and not because it is a special occasion is an excellent example of the kindness we can display. Showing our love is always greater than simply saying it.
It does not Envy: Trust is a huge piece in relationship success. We cannot experience a healthy marriage without it.
It does not Boast: My husband states “true love does not promote itself.” If what we do for our spouse is a result of the love we have for them, there is never a need to boast or bring it up seeking reward.
It is not Proud: My husband always says to ask ourselves if what we are doing is for our own selfish desires or totally focused on love and our desire to make our spouse happy. Also, being stubborn and not taking responsibility for mistakes stunts the growth of not only the individual but also the marriage. We must be willing to put pride aside and always do what is absolutely best for our partnership.
It does not Dishonor Others: A marriage is not only an intimate relationship, but also a friendship. In such a committed partnership always being respectful and speaking to one another with love should come naturally.
It is not Self-Seeking: It is not all about us! Making our spouse a priority is not always easy. At certain times we each have our own agenda. Instead of focusing on our plan, what if the health of the marriage became the primary goal. Then our words and actions will have to match that agenda.
It is not Easily Angered, It Keeps no Record of Wrongs: We learn and we move on. With every disagreement and situation, couples must keep moving forward. This also speaks to the patience we mentioned earlier. With everyone, but especially those we claim to love unconditionally, we must always act in love by being slow to anger. Remembering how much we love this person, even during trials, and not bringing up the past in a way that will hurt our spouse is key.
People have their own way of giving love. Love is oftentimes misrepresented by our own ideas about what it looks and feels like. It is always easier to say “I love you” than to literally display it on a frequent basis in this manner. When we stop and compare the kind of love we’ve given, how does it measure up to the love God describes in this scripture. I do agree that love is all we need, but it has to be the type of love that meets all of the requirements above.
