As someone who spends a lot of time on social media for both personal and professional reasons, I’ve seen my share of blunders committed by married folks on Facebook and Twitter and their blogs. While I would never blame a social network for the demise of a marriage, I will say that it can be a minefield for you and your spouse if you don’t know how to properly navigate it. Here’s a couple tips I’ve gathered after watching some couples excel and other couples flounder:
1) No airing out your dirty laundry. Sure, it might feel good to say something smart about your spouse online in the midst of a prolonged argument. But once the dust has settled you’ll feel silly or embarrassed and you might even wonder if your argument was such a big deal in the first place. But even more importantly, you’re showing cracks in your marriage that others shouldn’t be privvy to.
2) Don’t forget that online is not real life. I know a couple who got into a heated argument because the wife posted a mushy “I love my husband so much!” message on their anniversary, but her husband didn’t post anything. She claimed it showed he didn’t care, but he wondered why his card (delivered in person) and anniversary dinner didn’t count. Don’t get so caught up in your online persona that you forget what really counts: in person, real-life interactions.
3) That isn’t to say that online affection isn’t appropriate. When my husband does something awesome, I like to write about it. When I write a great article, my husband (usually) shares it with his networks. It’s about being supportive, both online and off-line.
4) Give each other some space! If you’re the first person to comment on every one of your spouse’s status updates, you might need to fall back a little bit. You don’t need to comment on every post, you don’t need to question them about every friend on their list, and you don’t need to make them interact with you every day. Focus on strengthening your relationship offline. If you two portray an image of a happy marriage online, that’s great – but don’t let your social media imprint be the end all be all to your relationship.
