By Sil Lai Abrams
There are plenty of great reasons to look for love, but there are also some ready shady factors that find us searching for a partner. If you fall into one of the following categories, consider finding another way to consume your time before focusing on a search for a boo…
- You’re lonely: I know, I know. Choosing to throw ourselves into a flurry of dating seems to make sense when we don’t have anyone to call our own. Nobody wants to end up as the dreaded “Cat Lady”. But the reality is that loneliness is a state of mind for most people. Before you rush out to fill a hole in the soul with a significant other, consider first the reasons why you’re lonely. A consistent feeling of loneliness may be a symptom that you need to expand your life and interests. Or that you have unresolved issues from your childhood. A partner who is chosen as an escape from inner dissatisfaction or a lack of personal meaning will inevitably fail at their job. Why? Because in a healthy relationship, your partner’s main role isn’t to provide entertainment or a warm body on lonely nights…but to complement the full life that you already have.
- You’re broke: Let’s face it. The economy and unemployment rates of black people have placed financial consideration into the forefront of many of our choices. But choosing to date someone primarily because of the size of their wallet is a tried and true way of ending up miserable. Money can mask incompatibility or financial irresponsibility but for only so long. Finance, health, attractiveness, professional status…all these things tend to change over time, and not always for the better. Instead of trying to stabilize your finances with someone else’s Ebony
